The last few months I’ve written some blog entries, but never posted them. I finished them all but I didn’t really need anyone to read them. I just needed to write them.
One post was about was about how I shot a wedding for one of my good friends in college and by the end of the night the groom told me it was time to put down my camera and stop trying to help them clean up because I “had done enough that weekend and it was time for a break” so I proceeded to dance my little fanny off with wonderfully hilarious people. I wanted to talk about how I learned what it’s like to date (and then break up with) another creative; I have a new respect for Taylor Swift’s ex boyfriends. I wanted to talk about my pretty people crushes; the people I just really want in front of my camera because they would make for such amazing photos with moments of adorableness and joy. I wanted to go on some whole thing about how I used to hate pageants because they were totally sexist but now, at 22, I found myself auditioning to compete in one.
Then I experienced hell when my external hard drive crashed near the end of an 8 week process of editing a wedding and all I could do was cry and drink wine because I needed to start all over again.
I think saying my whole world came crashing down is a wee bit of an exaggeration. But the wave of emotions that I felt was quite overwhelming. Saying it was like looking into a window of hell is a bit more accurate. Eight weeks of editing: gone. Somehow, I fit all that editing back into a week. But I probably cried through a lot of it. Back your files up. Seriously. Find some “cloud” on the internet or get an external hard drive. Have copies of everything.
So I finished that wedding and then some. Seven of my eight weddings are done and given back to the couples. What a season it has been.
Since May, I’ve had a lot of people ask me what my real job is. And I’ve had a lot of nagging to find another one, and another one, and another one… Where I felt comfortable trying to be patient and wait out the season I was in, others felt as though I was digging in my heels and being too picky. I felt something big coming. I don’t know what it was, but my gut told me there was something BIG coming. I just didn’t know what it was. For the time, photography was exactly what I needed it to be.
Part of this waiting period was largely due to all that I had experienced in my senior year of college. I’ve mentioned it before, but it was the most emotionally draining years of my life. I never want to re-live that year. All the money in the world wouldn’t convince me to re-live that year. The months following graduation were filled with a lot of trying to find healing and take back myself from the crap I had endured. So after many months of sending out applications, I finally got an email from my college yearbook adviser saying that our publishers were hiring and that I needed to send them an email, pronto. I sent them about five sentences about my experience and interest in working for them. I attached an old resumé that wasn’t even super detailed.
Then I got a phone call two days later. I suddenly knew what all that waiting was for.
Come back in about a week or so for the full Walsworth story.