What about the orphans?

I really love my brother. He’s a biblical studies major, and I actually think it’s the best because he brings around some RAD people to the house. I am so not an intellectual like he is, but I find everything that comes out of the kitchen conversations to be highly interesting. Well… one of his friends posted something not quite a year ago. Based on something else I saw a friend post today, I really feel like I need to leave this here.

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I would like to say, I think that poor goes beyond money. I think that poor can be interchanged with orphans.

I need to call a spade a spade: My generation is far too obsessed with sex, homosexuality, dating and relationships. I really don’t think it’s our fault. Nope. I think there is a reason for it. Wanna know who I point the finger at for perpetuating this obsession?

The church.


Wait, not everyone goes to church. Sure. This is true. But what is one of the most commonly talked IMG_8220about message… What is the thing that is shouted from the tops of every mountain and roof… What can’t the church seem to leave alone? Sex and abstinence and how apparently homosexuality is the worst sin you could ever commit. It’s actually noooooootttttt.


Seriously. It’s like they think the message they’re sending is different every time. I’ve got a surprise for you: it is not. It’s just another version of those Buzzfeed articles that we see… 8567298374 Things Singles Are Tired of Hearing:

  • Your husband/wife is waiting for you, don’t you want to be able to say you waited for them, too?
  • Just date Jesus/God and your husband will appear!
  • Being single is a blessing. You can use this time to prepare yourself for marriage.
  • As soon as I was OK with my singleness, I met my husband/wife!!

I could go on. I will not.

Guess what this single is tired of hearing? Six weeks (AT MINIMUM) worth of messages, every year, in church about sex and dating. WHHHHY you ask?

Because it makes me feel like shit for taking more interest in photography, traveling, meeting new people, working, investing in my students, and doing anything else in the world besides finding a husband.

Yes. Dating is really, really fun. Guys are great. I’m a huge fan and I always have been. Just ask Mama Koenn. But um… I do other things, too. And I don’t actually feel like the church is encouraging me to pursue the time I’m in. I feel like they’re encouraging me to pursue it until I get wifed up.

My friend Alison wrote this AMAZING post. It’s a plea to all her NON-single friends. It’s basically most of what I’m saying here.

“The season of life I’m in right now, also known as singleness, is not an in between stage of waiting. There’s a lot of life happening for me right now even without being attached to another person. I don’t need words from a friend encouraging the insecurities, lurking beneath my confident surface trying to tell me my life is less than… If singleness is such a blessing, what is it about my life that makes everyone think I need so much encouragement?”

I have so many people telling me they think it’s SO incredible that I’m SO adventurous and I’ll just go live in North Carolina because it’s where the job is and THEY could NEVER do something like that and how LUCKY I am that I’m single and can do this now…


This is life. I’m just trucking my way through it so I can get to a point that I can do what my body was intended to do… Remember what that is? Oh yeah. Carrying my soul through the earth and sharing the Gospel. How do I want to do that?

10363629_10202472836527721_2140975165625772525_nI want to foster. I want to adopt. I want to care for the orphans. I want a gaggle of ethnic children with tons of dogs and I want to be that super white soccer mom that confuses the hell out of the neighbors. I want that MORE than I want a husband, but I know a husband should probably come first. I don’t believe being a mother is strictly for those who carry their children inside them. If I’m being honest, birth terrifies me and I’d like to keep my bits in tact as they are right now.  There are too many orphans in our world who need me. I cannot justify bringing “my own” into the world before bringing an orphan into my heart and home and calling them mine.

Guys. We seriously need to get over the whole sex and relationships thing. It’s not the entire world. It can’t be the thing we constantly bring up in our youth groups. My heart BREAKS for the babies who end up in situations where they aren’t loved. But why did it take this long? It shouldn’t have. But what was my mind on in high school and in college? “We’re going to start this really awesome series about sex and dating and relationships and we’re going to answer ALL your questions!!”

We are not only our sexuality. Seriously. I don’t care about how many people you have or haven’t slept with. I don’t care that we have the parts to make more babies. I care about where your heart is. So I really want to know.

Where is your heart for the orphans? Why are you so curious about your sex life when you could be finding solutions to help the poor?

When you can tell me why sex is more important than helping the poor and the orphans, I’d love to tell you how nonsensical you sound.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. This is absolutely on-point. Nice work. You sound like you’re probably late teens to early twenties; keep this focus and by the time you’re thirty you can change the world. You may want to check out Compassion.com; I volunteer a bit for them (and sponsor). They have some really amazing programs and resources, and they’re highly respected for their financial integrity (company finances may or may not be important to you, but I like to work with people I can trust…and if they handle money right, I feel like everything else falls into line). Keep writing and influencing!

  2. Hi Casey! Yeah, I’m closing on my mid 20s and can’t wait to see what happens by 30.

    I’ll definitely check out Compassion. I work for a company who values financial integrity, it’s a big deal. So thank you for your recommendation!

  3. You’re welcome! 🙂 Have a great day!

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