You’re on fire.

I’m back to blogging, y’all.

I shared this in a photographer group that is stacked with some of the most talented human beings in the industry. No kidding, I was not expecting anything close to the reaction this got. Yeah, it did alright all the other ways I shared it. The place it took off was with my peers.

Not exactly what you think is going to happen when the story behind the photo doesn’t feel like anything special. Even though it sort of is. What can I really say about it? It was your typical wedding. They didn’t want to see each other before the ceremony. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But when you have an October wedding on a Friday and the ceremony is scheduled for 5pm but doesn’t actually start until 5:15pm and the sun sets at 6:15pm and the ceremony is 30 minutes long and you want all of the family photos, large bridal party photos and romantic photos done before the sun sets… You’re sort of setting your natural light photographer up for a possible meltdown. Had this been one of my first few weddings, I definitely would have been crying in the bathroom during dinner. Since it wasn’t, I went full drill instructor. Somehow (it was Jesus), all of those portraits got done with time and light to spare. There was even time for this.

Look, I love weddings. There’s a rhythm and a rush to them. After a while, certain shots become a “hey girl, there’s about all of the brides in the world who ask for this shot” and others, like this one, are when you’re so in the zone that you don’t even understand what your brain is doing but you just go with it and wait to see what happens. They don’t ask you for these shots, they hire you because they know your brain might run wild and produce this. They don’t expect it. (Okay they might if they see it on Pinterest. But then there’s the whole “I can’t copy that exact shot because this was clearly dumb luck that it even happened” deal.)

There have been two shots in my life where something woke up the deepest parts of my creativity. This one and that one photo from that one contest I entered. This shot made so many people say, “I don’t know what you’re doing lately, but your creativity is on fire.”

*unexpected twist*

You’ve all heard about the bad times I’ve had with dating. Even the bad times when I wasn’t dating anyone, I just had the worst boss in the entire world. I think this goes for a lot of creatives, one person becomes our tether to our inspiration. That person can either encourage or squelch it. I’ve had just the correct amount of the latter in the recent years. I’ve also had an overwhelming amount of the former… It’s amazing how one overpowers the other. Well, it’s not amazing. It’s sort of the worst. To those who tugged at my creativity and called it stupid, you suck and deserve to step on Legos for all eternity.

Age 21 pretty much sucked. 22 wasn’t a whole lot better.

23 was the rapid upswing when I fell in love with North Carolina and heard the words “stop dating assholes who don’t let you put you first.” And I did just that right after turning 24. I found that tether (which sounds a lot more masculine than the word muse) to my inspiration and creativity. Okay I didn’t find him, Tinder did.

Ultimately things didn’t work out with him. But for almost nine months, holy moly did I see what unconditional love and support looked like. I’m incredibly thankful for those days. What a gift he was.

Recently the question I’ve been hearing a lot is “so is this what you want to be doing?” To be totally honest, I just wanted myself back from hell and I’m finally here.

Let’s just enjoy it for a while.


One Comment Add yours

  1. beckajayne says:

    Yay you’re back and writing!!!! Whoohooooo!!!! Happy day!! 🙂 🙂 ❤ ❤ 🙂 🙂 ** Dance around the roooom!!**

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