My favorite F-word.

A little over a year ago, I started writing this blog post but I never shared it. Guess what? I just deleted that whole first draft and I’m going to start over because I grew as a person and that’s worth talking about. Hopefully it took you about ten seconds to figure out that my favorite f-word isn’t “fuck” (though that’s a great one) when actually it’s feminism.

FEMINISM: THE ADVOCACY OF WOMEN’S RIGHTS ON THE GROUNDS OF POLITICAL, SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC EQUALITY TO MEN.

I think that’s a pretty simple concept. I don’t hate men. I would just really like to not be randomly followed to my home by random men who want to “fix my car” or catcalled in parking lots when I wear jeans that make it look like I do squats. I’d also like to be able to provide for myself until I can contribute to my family.

I think if I hated men, I wouldn’t date them. I certainly wouldn’t be on any dating apps if I hated men. Speaking of dating apps, this is currently my bio on Tinder: “I don’t need a Clyde. That horse is dead. Just your typical bat-shit passionate girl next door, self-employed wedding photographer and sales manager, dog lover, Disneyland pass holder, feminist, gin drinker who thrives in awkward situations and will laugh at your jokes if their funny.”

And yes, you guessed it, I threw in “feminist” to weed out the weak. It only took a day after I added it to my bio for a lovely person to point it out.

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I won’t even address using “u” in an adult conversation. Just kidding I will. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO JUST TYPE TWO EXTRA LETTERS? It’s not. How’s that working out for u? I don’t know. I wasn’t aware that letters had agendas.

He then went on to tell me that I “deserve the world” but the wage gap is a myth, women don’t take jobs that make as much money as men, women don’t work as much as men and “because what one punk did makes the world full of Brock Turners.” Okay. Okay. So when the statistics state that 20-25% of women will be raped by age 25, the world is actually full of Brock Turners. That is a real, real thing. And yes, one day I would love to “work less” than my husband — but what kind of person thinks being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t work their ass off for their kids? Okay yeah I majored in graphic design. I don’t at all expect to make the same wage as a doctor. But yes I expect to be compensated based on my experience, my client’s expectations of the final product and my cost of living. A man is no more responsible for his life than I am mine.

I’m not going to say “I’m not your typical feminist” because I’m not sure there is a typical feminist anymore. I used to think that people who said Jesus was a feminist were kind of full of it (sorry)… but honestly I get it now. I think the far right sees feminism as a bunch of angry bra-burners and man haters. I think the far left believes you’re ignorant if you don’t identify as a feminist. I think both of those lines of thought are dangerous. Everyone needs to put their torches down and hug it out over a pizza. Though I definitely appreciate Maisie Williams saying, “I feel like we should stop calling feminists ‘feminists’ and just start calling people who aren’t feminist ‘sexist.’ You are either a normal person or a sexist.” Because seriously, we’re all just fighting for what we think is best. Our thoughts and opinions are a bit like a penis: real nice that you have one but it doesn’t ever need to be shoved in the face of someone who doesn’t want it there.

Treat people well: with kindness and fairness. Just be good. Do good. And when you mess up, own it. Apologize for it and move on.

Be a feminist because women are awesome and so are men. Be a feminist because you believe and want the best for people. Be a feminist because no one deserves to be treated as less than. Be a feminist because you’re strong and you have a voice that can fight for someone who needs a champion.

Be a feminist because Jesus probably would be one, too.

I love Jesus and I’m a fucking feminist.

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